“HOW TO” stop judging others…and yourself (Life Lesson #15)


Someone’s got an attitude….someone is making life choices that you don’t agree with…someone looks different….is acting different. Have you ever felt like nobody understands you? Nobody gets you? Ever say…if they only knew what I’m dealing with and what I’m feeling THEN they would get it! And if they THINK they know, they really have NO idea becasue they are not ME! They are not walking in my shoes on a day to day basis! I have sooooo experienced that going through a divorce and being judged…hearing people say :”Everything looked so  good from the outside…what the hell are you doing? Why are you changing everything??…people judging me as a mother, as a person” But nobody understood what I was going through on the inside….for years… The sentence I kept on repeating in my head over and over to get me past it all was: “I am being true to myself…and if I’m true to myself,  everything will eventually fall into place…I know I am a good person..so just trust that.”  I’m just telling you this because I get it.

Out there in the world, we don’t know what people go home to…we don’t know the thoughts racing in their head every minute of their day….we don’t know what they feel about themselves..we just don’t know. And only if we walked in THEIR shoes, like they say, would we have that glimpse of compassion and understanding. So instead of having to walk in their shoes why not just try to understand that they are doing the best they can with what they are emotionally capable of at the time.

Because isn’t that true of yourself? Aren’t you doing the best you can with what you know and are capable of in the moment? Do we make “not the best choices” sometimes? Yes, but that’s because sometimes that’s the only choice we see. But eventually, when you know better, you can do better…and that’s growth. We  are all going through different shit at different times…sometimes everything is awesome and we are on top of the world, and sometimes we get stuck and feel there’s no way out.

At their core, I really believe people are good…some just lose their way- but it doesn’t mean they can’t find their way back to who they truly are:) So maybe next time you feel like judging (because we all do sometimes)…why not send a probably much needed prayer and good energy their way instead? 🙂 And as far as yourself? Give yourself a break! You’re doing the best you can…and as you move along your path , different realizations will be uncovered for you and you can grow from there. Don’t be so hard on yourself…you’re awesome:)…you’re beautiful:)…you’re living your emotional journey…and there are so many ups and downs and choices to be made (whew!! lol) …and I know you’re doing the best you can…and for today, right now, that is enough🙂

We are all in this together!

In my next letter to you…being in the moment….why it works…

With crazy love and gratitude! 

-Donna xoxo

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